youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
