I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I party with great urgency now.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
