I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
