He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Buhtt sex?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
