you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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