I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
