Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
