I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
