I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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