She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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