I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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