Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
