I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
