thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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