Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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