I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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