He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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