I wish I could teleport
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
