lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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