So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
