doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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