Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
