Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
