is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
