I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
