everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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