Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
