I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize