i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
