I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it's like iHOP with fire
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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