I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
