You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
