she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
