anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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