i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
