Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This baby is an asshole
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
