You really coming over, don't trick.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
