She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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