she was so not down for the gang bang
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
