mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
