i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
