bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
