Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
