i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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