You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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