Sry I called you an 8
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
