I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
