Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize