I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
