My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
