Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
