in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
