Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
