Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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