you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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