How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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