If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
