He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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