i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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