Fuck appropriateness.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
