chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
