all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
