Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
