Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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