Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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