Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
