So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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