Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
