Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
