oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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