I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
