addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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