he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
