Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
