Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
