I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
