he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i came on her dog
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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