It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
