Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize