Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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