She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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